


Some Stories Aren't Allowed To End

by WorthlesswarDivision



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Humor, M/M, Reita in aprons maybe, mention of Kyo, revival of the dead, unexplainable conditions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:46:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorthlesswarDivision/pseuds/WorthlesswarDivision
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takanori painfully  lost a lover and said lover won't leave his dreams for so many months now. . .until he needed a maid in his messy house just to clean and cook for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooookay, fine yeah, I admit that ReitaxRuki is my joy!

The rain was heavy and the air smelled of the odor coming from underneath the earth that rises like it was cleaning itself. A small figure was out at the pouring rain and he was slumped down the muddy grass of the newly dug part of the cemetery, his tear-streaked face was covered by the fading blond hair that was now soaked along with his clothes. He wasn't alone, many other black-clothed people were standing few feet away from him to protect theirselves from the rain at the small shed and some already left but Takanori didn't care. He did not care when Akira's family left after a few hours later too and only his friends remained. He did not care when his clothes were so soaked and his body was shivering with cold, hunger, and exhaustion. He did not care when his friends were calling for him to leave the place already and didn't even feel when the water wasn't dropping at his body anymore as Kouyou stood silently, holding an umbrella above him, his friend's own face bore the grief of a man who lost his only trusted confidant. He didn't feel anything anymore. Why would he dare even try to leave this place when Akira is in here with him? He is only. . . _sleeping_. 

"Taka, let's go now, shall we?" Kouyou asked in a gentle voice and bent down to hold Takanori's trembling shoulder.

"L-let's wait, please? Just f-for a bit?" Taka answered, his voice wavered as he stared up at Kouyou with his red, swollen eyes while he held his cold chest with his muddy fingers and the sight just broke Kouyou's heart even more.

_**'Oh Akira, look what you have done. If you could only see how much you've broken him.'** _ Kouyou closed his eyes. 

"You know that Akira hates it so much when you come home from work and so soaked in the rain, right? Remember when he got so angry that he carried you to the hot tub himself and dried you just so you can't get sick? He was so worried, remember?" Kouyou whispered and hugged Takanori's wet form to him, not minding if it is soaking him too. "See, even now he hates it. You should protect your body okay? So that he'll stop worrying." Kouyou said, tears escaped his eyes even when he tried not to cry in front of his best friend's boyfriend. 

Takanori whimpered. ". . .Okay." 

Kouyou smiled bitterly. He carried Takanori on his back because he knew that his friend didn't have any strength left. 

They left, the cemetery was empty and everything was deafeningly quiet, yet just for a second something glowed and it shook. In some part of the cemetery, a gravestone glowed but it was gone immediately, like the gravestone never glowed or anything. On that gravestone that wrote 'Suzuki, Akira'. 

~ 

_ Akira was always a joker and Takanori was always his victim but he fell in love with Akira anyway. They are living together for almost 4 years now despite how different they are from each other. Takanori is flamboyant and petite, not much muscles to show off and he is stoic when it comes to everything, while Akira is simple and his body is lean enough to show it off without any insecurities, his eyes were so beautiful when he smiles but he kept saying he hated his nose because it looks so weird he said but in the end he didn't do anything to the poor nose of his. Akira never liked to use make-up though that's why he never tried using one, never used anything on his face and his hair, even if his hair looked like buckets of water was thrown down at him from above. They were very different from each other but maybe. . .opposite attracts? But that was it and it didn't matter because they love each other and they are happy. _

_ "Aki?" _

_ "Hmm?" _

_ ". . .do you love me?" _

_ "I love you Taka, I'll never ever leave someone as precious as you. Do you understand?"  _

Kouyou was sitting at the side of the bed while stroking Taka's hair, the small blond was twitching in his sleep indicating that he was dreaming. The blond muttered something in his sleep like, "I do Aki, love you too. . ."   



	2. But It's The Truth. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'll update this but it got held on for a few hours because I accidentally slept. -_- gomenasai

He was worried. Kouyou was so worried about Taka. Days have passed since Akira died but Takanori remained distant and always staring somewhere far. He was so quiet, only answering when needed, and every night he would hear the blond weep in the other room. Sometimes, Taka will talk in his sleep as if talking to Akira. He keeps on touching the gold, snake-looking bracelet that Akira gave to him, which Taka whined as very antique but accepted it anyway. Akira got that bracelet from his grandma and he gave it to Taka when he was still living, it really was antique.

Takanori is staying at Kou's house because of his fear that the blond might do something reckless and to help him recover but Kou forgot that he himself is not good at sorting out emotions. He couldn't even remember the last time that he was the one who advised someone, it had always been the other way around so he really don't know what to do.

Takanori was seated at the lone chair near the window of the room he and Kouyou shared with, staring out the glass as if waiting for someone. Kouyou sighed as he walked towards Taka and put his thumb on the blond's cheek to wipe the silent tears away. He looked like he was not even aware that he was crying again.

"Ne, please eat something? Just for a bit?" Kouyou pleaded, Takanori remained silent, staring out the window and saying nothing. Takanori was not eating much either, until yesterday he didn't eat at all. If he keeps this up. . .

"Taka, please."

". . .No."

"You know that Aki-"

"But he is not here anymore!" Takanori cried, covering his teary eyes with his palm. "He is g-gone! He's not here to tell me what to do anymore! Not here to worry about me! He is fucking gone Kouyou so stop saying his name anymore! He is DEAD!" Taka shouted as he stood up and shove at Kouyou's chest angrily.

Kouyou was so stunned at the sudden burst of emotions coming from the blond that he was at loss at what to say. Takanori was right, what the hell was he thinking? He kept on using Akira's name to make his friend remember to do the things Taka's boyfriend used to tell him only to find out that he was throwing wood to the fire of Taka's agony. But what can Kouyou do? Without it Taka will not move for himself at all and Kouyou can't force him into anything. When Kouyou tries to coax him into eating, his words are not heard at all but when he use Akira's name at least Taka would react. This time though it went in negatively.

Takanori continued to walk towards the door without looking back at all. Kouyou didn't move even when he heard the door slam shut, only stared at the wall and let Takanori calm down. Kouyou would apologize if he comes back.

'Look at what you've done Aki. If you didn't die because of that stupid car that ran over you, things would have been far different.' Kouyou bit his lip as his eyes began to water. 'I can't fill the void inside Taka alone, idiot. I'm far from enough.'

That night Kouyou waited, he waited but the little blond did not came back. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, Akira's best friend waited but Takanori never came back. Yuu called, informing Kou that Taka went back to his and Akira's house.

"Okay, can you at least tell me his new number?"

"Oh yeah right, I forgot that he told me to give it to you. And Kou? He said sorry."

He sighed in relief, "Yeah, thanks. I'll talk to him."

 

**~1 year later~**

"Eto, Ruki-san? Can you take that snake bracelet first? It kind of doesn't suit your clothes, it looks so old too. Please change it to something silver to pair it with your nails." The photographer blurted out naively, not knowing how that made Ruki's blood boil intensely. Not only did the stupid photographer said that Ruki's got a very old accessory but also doubted Ruki, a model's, sense of fashion!? Now that did it!

"Oh really? How about you? Can you quit as a photographer? Because seriously, you don't suit your camera. Please change your career and get yourself a job that doesn't include fashion lectures. " Ruki spoke with venom, leaving the photographer speechless, and walked out of the studio to have some drag of a much needed nicotine to calm his raging nerves.

~

Kouyou was waiting for his fiancé, he arranged the whole house to wait for Marissa to arrive and was very excited to open the door when he heard a knock.

Upon opening the door, what he saw wasn't a shoulder-length haired girl he was expecting but a spiky mohawked guy with a bandana around his nose. Kouyou's smile faded quickly and his face immediately twisted in wariness and a bit of fear. The guy at his door looked like a thug or a gangster alright, he really can't let his guard down. He just wished that Marissa won't come at the moment.

The guy stared at him for a moment before speaking.

"K. . .Kouyou."

". . .Who are you?"

"It's me. Akira."

Kouyou's eyes widened but without recognition, only replaced with wrath and the door was forcefully slammed shut in front of the guy who claims himself to be Akira. The guy kept on knocking persistently, shouting pleadingly at Kouyou to open the door. Kouyou was so angry he considered bringing out the ken that was hidden at his room and slash this guy apart because how dare him! He didn't care whether that guy was a gangster or something but insulting the dead is another thing!

"Please, just hear me out! Kou! Just let me prove myself please! . . . . . Okay, fine! I'm gonna say it here! You were not good at interacting with anyone when you were in highschool! "

"Everyone knows of that already!" Kouyou shouted from the other side of the door.

"Uh. . .You puked when you saw Dr. Kyo's specimens in the lab!"

". . .okay?" Now that was awkward, but maybe Aki just blurted it out to someone (even if that was supposed to be a secret)

". . .YOUR YOUNGER SISTER IS A LEADER OF YA-!" The mohawk guy was glomped by Kou before he could even finish his sentence, causing them to crash to the floor in a heap.

"How'd you know that?" Kouyou grasped the guy's shoulder as he laid on top of him. True, only Akira and Taka knew about it after they witnessed Kouyou's sister grab a gun (though guns are prohibited) and pointed it at Kouyou's head because he ate her favorite tonkatsu-styled pork. He had explained the stupid situation and they both knew how to not blurt it out. But then, this guy looked like one so it isn't a surprise if he knew that Kouyou's sister is a leader of yakuza.

"Itte yo Kou, I bumped my head." The guy whined.

". . .Let's go talk inside." Ugh, this is nonsense.

~

Ruki was almost finished with his third piece of the cancer stick when Kai, his manager, sneaked beside him.

" Ru, stop scaring the staff away. Now I need to find another photographer, you rascal."

Ruki glared at the cloudless sky. "Then next time, warn them not to offend models. "

Kai giggled, "You were offended?"

Ruki rolled his eyes, "Because the people you were hiring were being incongruous."

"But I'm hiring professionals! " Kai pouted.

"Oh? Then hire a nonprofessional one, maybe they won't bitch about my style." The petite blond said, taking one last drag of the cigarette before throwing it in the trash bin. "I'm gonna go for some drink, you coming?"

Kai smiled and gently refused the offer. "I need to fix the schedule for tomorrow, sorry."

" 'Kay. "


	3. Found You

"This is ridiculous! How can I believe such shit!" Kouyou sighed, exasperated. "How could that be possible!?" Though the guy already explained so many things to him that it was so convincing for at least two hours, it really wasn't normal when someone knocks at the door saying that he is your best friend that died a year ago like he was just explaining how to open a cake box. Yet, all the things he said were something pthat only Akira would know. Only Akira would possibly know!

"I know it is hard to believe but it is me, Kou. I don't know what happened either but when I woke up I already looked like this and fuck, I was naked in the middle of nowhere . ." Akira sighed.

"N-naked in the middle of nowhere. . ?" Kouyou grimaced. "Where'd you got those clothes? And what the fuck is with that bandana, make-up, and spiky head? Aki hates make-ups."

"I hate make-up, but this," Akira points at his eyes. " This is not make-up. I tried washing it and failed, like it's already part of the skin. This hair, I've always wanted this style so don't question it."

". . .And the bandana?"

"Umm. . .because my nose is still the same." He muttered, embarassed. Then the idea clicked. Stupid Akira, only realizing that now! "Oh! Look at my nose! Now you'll believe me!" Akira voiced out, swiftly removing the piece of cloth away. He grinned, satisfied with the reaction he got from Kouyou.

"A-. . .You're really Aki. " Kouyou's eyes widened for the umpteenth time tonight. "But, Taka."

Akira suddenly wore a very solemn look on his face. "I know."

~

He was at his fourth drink of vodka when he decided to go home because he started to feel tipsy and he could continue drinking more at home. Ruki paid and went for his car, not worrying about driving with liquor inside his system. He wasn't scared of doing anything risky of his life lately, maybe because he didn't care anymore. He drove back to his house, fast enough only as to not to catch the attention of cops.

Keys clattering was heard as Ruki opened the house and as usual he was greeted with silence. He stumbled as he stepped across the threshold, cursing as he was having a hard time taking his shoes off.

He almost slipped when he accidentally stepped on a random bottle while making his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and dawned a huge gulp of it. It burned as the bitter liquid slipped down his throat, it burned and it felt good.

He pulled himself from the fridge that contains little food, many bottles, and some water and ice. Making his way to the living room, he placed the bottle on top of the available surface as he cleared the space-occupying, empty bottles on the couch and table. Fuck, he is getting sick of moving these things around, he really need to hire a maid now. Well, it had been two months since he had someone to clean the house. Might as well call Kouyou to do the work.

~

Kouyou was about to ask the unanswered question of 'where naked Akira got his clothes and if he was wearing anything under or if he'd gone commando' but was interrupted by the kitty ringtone of his phone. They scrambled in finding the source of noise until Kouyou found it under the pillow he was leaning on, flipping the screen open and answering it.

"Kou, hire me a maid, my house's a mess. " Ruki slurred.

"Taka, I told you to fix it yourself! The last maid I sent there came crying to me. She practically gave up! She said your house is unfixable! " Kouyou shouted from the speaker.

Ruki heard someone else on the other side, asking if it's really Taka there but he ignored it and continued to talk. "Idiot, that girl was no maid. She just needs the money but she can't do real heavy cleaning that's why I scolded her. Find me another." Ruki slurred again as he took another gulp of the liquor, hoping it would stop the spinning of his head.

Kouyou frowned, now realizing how the blond slurred. "Takanori, are you drinking again? I think I should come visit you tomorrow."

Ruki looked around and quickly grunted in annoyance."No, just give me a mai-" he suddenly felt like vomiting, bile was rising from his throat and he tried his best to find a near trash bin, his phone falling in the process. The moment Ruki found one, he just kept on throwing all of it there until he was left dry heaving. Tears formed in his eyes and remembered his doctor scolding him for not eating first before drinking. Shit, he forgot to eat again. He whimpered in pain because his body still heaved even if he already had nothing to bring out.

Something crackled from the other line and then a bit of noise until Kouyou heard Ruki heave somewhat far to the speaker. It sounded bad.

"Taka!? Oi, shikari shite yo! Wait there! I'm on my way now!" Then the phone went dead.

Ruki hadn't been listening, his vision swirled and he gave up and just collapsed on the floor for a bit of rest.

~  
Little Taka was crying, his classmates were making fun of him again because he was the easiest to cry. They said that he was always a crybaby and it wasn't a lie at all because he really is. What can a small child like him do against the bullies? Certainly none, none at all. The bigger boys would drag him to a corner and kick his body or try to strangle him until he'd choke for real then laugh when he coughs violently because of the assault on his neck. The girls were no different, sometimes they'll pull at his hair so hard he thought it would rip and they'll say hurtful things to him and spill beverages on his clothes, hot coffee or ice cold juice they spill at little Taka while calling him names.

"You are Takanori, right? "

". . .Yes, and I have done nothing wrong." Taka answered as he stood up from where he was slumped down. Now he was naked, only covered with bruises and welts from his father who punished him in his adolescent body for not being normal, not being normal in his father's eyes meant wearing makeup, dying hair and wearing anything that would make his father's eyes twitch.

"I know, just wait for me. I promised to protect you after all." The cheery voice said, a simple face but full of radiance from the way the guy smiled.

Taka cried, his fingers became muddy and the black suit he was wearing was so cold and drenched from the rain. He stepped forward towards the guy he knew was the only one that mattered to him the most, he was his savior and life, life that was taken in front of his eyes the moment that car sped up and took Akira from him. "How? I saw it, the car killed you! How can you protect me now?!"

Akira, a smile still lingering on his face, stepped closer and hugged Taka with an overwhelming affection.

"Look at how lovely you are, Ruki. I can't resist but watch on you. This style suits you most, but please don't forget to love your body more. I'll find you, I will find you so please. . ."

The blond pulled out from a hug, his accessories juggling in the process, his body was clad with leather and designer clothes. Being a model is what he had become and it suited him well even if he is lacking the height of the other models. But then, a lone tear escaped from his eyes and sliding down his dry cheeks.

"But I'm alone." He whispered. "What's the use?". . .

"No, because I have found you." Akira smiled.

"How?"

". . ."

". . .Aki?"

~  


When Kouyou opened the door of Ruki's house with the spare key he owned, that was miraculously not lost yet, they were greeted with the strong smell of alcohol and bottles were scattered everywhere. Akira slowed down as he took in the sight while Kouyou went straight to look for Ruki, only snapping back out of his trance when Kouyou shouted his name.

"Akira! Taka is here, help me out!"

Akira quickly went to see his beloved one. He saw Taka lying on the floor and shivering slightly, breathing irregular. Covering his mouth with the back of his hand, Akira suddenly cried.

~  
"Don't even ask why. I think you already know the answer." Kouyou started, placing the wet towel on Ruki's forehead.

"But. . .why didn't you stop hi-"

"Because I was the same! If Marissa hadn't found me I might've been drowning dead to the fate of alcohol. He pleaded me to not take away the freedom of drinking so I just let him. I just can't do a fucking thing about it."

"I'm. . .sorry." Akira bowed his head down, guilt slamming into him heavily now that he realized how serious it was the moment he saw Taka in this state.

"Ah, how messy. You know, Akira was and is still my best friend, so when you told me who you were my feelings were mixed. I can't explain it, I mean just look at you, if you were just kidding then at least you could have made an effort to look more like him and not like a thug. But then, it feels so true because your presence itself is the same as Akira." Kouyou closed his eyes in thought. "What are you planning on doing now. Now that you've seen him in this state?"

Akira touched Taka's hand. It was cold but still as beautiful as ever. He held it and brought it to his lips to make it warm. "Kou, trust me in this. It is really me and I want to stay here and never leave him. I don't want to leave him ever again." He whispered.

Taka turned his head to his side, causing the towel to fall off his forehead. A whimper left his lips and the hand Akira was holding twitched and tightened.

"A-aki. . ." Akira's eyes looked up at the blond but he was still sleeping.

"The reason why he can't move on is because he kept on dreaming about you after all the time that passed. He'll come crying to me saying that you kept on showing up in his dreams like you were real. Are you going to tell him that you are Akira?"

"I. . .don't think so. I mean, that's why I came to you first because I was afraid to see if Taka would have someone else again and I know that it'll be harder for him to believe me than you because. . .because you know, what if I'll just make it worse for hi-" Akira's blabbering was suddenly muted by Kouyou's finger to silence him.

"I understand your reason. He might just break even more if you came to him first, right? Then that is good already. Let's just find a way to make you stay here." Kouyou grinned, a kind of grin that you would not want it to be pointed towards you.

Akira tightened his grasp on Taka's hand nervously. 

"Umm. . ."


	4. This Is Just The Beginning

The weather is very great. The birds are chirping merrily, trees swaying with the wind, and the sun shining so brightly.

Perhaps too brightly, though.

Ruki groaned and buried his face in the pillow to protect his eyes from the annoying sunlight peeking from the window. Who the hell opened the curtain anyway. Oh ouch, his head hurts, as if an army of soldiers stepped on it. A familiar feeling of damning hungover but quite stronger because he haven't eaten anything before drinking yesterday, feels like shit. Did Kouyou brought him here? He should thank him for it. 

Ugh, he can't get up like this. Is there a schedule waiting for him? None. Manager gonna need him? Kai said he'll have to go somewhere today so no. He sighed deeply in relief, no need to get out of bed. He shifted himself onto his stomach to be more comfortable as he slung his arm onto a large pillow and tried to drift to sleep again, distantly hearing some voices and glasses clanking but too tired to care so.

~

"Oi okirou yo, it's already noon!" Kouyou jumped on the large bed and laid on top of the sleeping blond, successfully squishing the small frame beneath him.

"Kumffyuph! M-mmph. . .!"

Kouyou laughed and sat up.

"Are you trying to kill me you idiot!" Ruki barked, his head aching intensely when he did so. He pinched his temple after sitting up, it still hurts and he feels like he's ready to hurl.

"Here." Kouyou handed him a pain reliever and a glass of water which he downed eagerly.

"I told you not to come here, Kou." Ruki huffed, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "But thanks anyway."

"After you cut off our conversation like that? Of course I will come, you made me worry!" Kouyou crossed his arms together. "You need to go to bath boy, you stink."

"I know, I will go after my hungover-"

"Kouyou the food is ready!" Someone shouted from somewhere inside the house.

"-dies. . .down. Kou, who the heck was that?" Ruki threw a glare at the grinning brunette.

~

"He is going to be your maid." Kouyou pointed at the mohawk-haired guy standing across where Ruki and Kou is seated.

Ruki sighed. "You mean houseboy."

"I-I'm. . .R-Reita. Yoroshiku o-onegaishimasu!" Ruki's eyes twitched at the stuttering, but the spiky blond bowed in front of Ruki anyway. They were at the living room that is now clear with the previous mountains of bottles and crushed butts of cigarettes, even the scattered clothes were now at the dryer. The moment Ruki stepped out of his room it looked so clean he thought he was in a different house if not for the furnitures he owned. Ok, wow, but then. . .

"What, you could dress him up like a maid." Kouyou snickered, both Reita and Ruki turned to him to glare daggers.

Ruki excused himself and Kouyou for a bit and dragged the tall brunnete away. Once they had distance from the guy 'Reita', Ruki pulled Kou's ear towards him, ignoring the cries of pain from the brunette.

"Who is he? " Ruki whispered.

"Reita, he is gonna be your maid!" Kouyou whispered back, blinking the tears of pain away.

"Houseboy, you mean? You sure he is not a thug, a thief, a murderer, or something? Your sister didn't sent him here, did she? He looks suspicious, like he's hiding something. And what the fuck is with the nose band? Really suspicious."

"Taka-chan, you're imagining things! And why would Kyoko send you one of her men anyway, if she would ever do that, it is to protect you." Kouyou released his ear from Ruki's grip and rubbed it with an undoubtly pout on his face. "Besides, he already showed his skills in cleaning. Look how shining shimmery this house is again." Kouyou emphasized it with stretching his arms widely.

"Yeah I know, it's amazing but. . .where'd you met him. . .?" Ruki asked.

"Umm, you see. . .the brother of the friend of my friend said that his friend's cousin's parents are the ones who could help me by suggesting that their neighbor's friend's son could be a house keeper for as long as you like as his boss. Isn't that a very good deal?" Kouyou smiled widely.

Ruki's mouth hung agape, "What?"

"Want me to repeat it?"

"No."

~

"You sure you can work here?" Ruki put his hands on his waist as he stood hovered like a big guy over the sitting blond. Reita only nodded and said immediately "But I don't have any documents or anything so I really don't have anything to show you." His voice was deep and husky like those of action movies.

"I know, Kouyou explained that already. I won't need those trash as long as you are legit. Are you?" Ruki leaned threateningly close to Reita, the spiky head visibly shrunk at the couch and head almost buried at the headrest when Ruki came closer. 'Akira, he doesn't know you, control your damn feelings!' Reita thought to himself.

"Y-yes sir!" Ruki smirked at the answer, this guy already knows his manners.

"How much would you want me to pay you?" Ruki leaned even closer. If not because of the cold look he got, Reita would have thought Ruki is flirting with him.

"It will be up to you, sir." Reita surprised Ruki. Shouldn't it be supposed to be that people would take advantage of the offer?

"Well then, how much time would you want to stay here if ever?" 

"As long as you want, sir!"

"Even if I won't give justice to your salary?" Ruki smirked, well because this guy just keeps on submitting to him so what he said to Reita is actually just a teasing joke.

"Even if you don't pay me at all!"

Ruki backed away, shocked. "Eh?" he squeaked, face contorted into confusion. Now that was too much.

Kouyou quickly stood up. "Oi chotto kora machiagare!! What do you think you're saying!? Aho ka!? Huh? Are you an idiot!? " Kouyou shouted and smacked Reita's head hard with a curled magazine. "No one works for free!"

"O-ouch! Kou that hurts!"

"Correct what you said!" Kouyou angrily glared at the spiky blond. Ruki noticed the way the new guy called his friend 'Kou' as if they're close but kept quiet.

Reita clutched the back of his head, hissing at the pain. Magazines are scary inventions. "Matsumoto-san, pay me however you like."

Ruki, watching quietly a while ago, glowered at his last name but just shrugged at the actions of the two. "Fine, you can start by cooking us dinner later." Ruki turned back and said, "And call me Ruki, don't utter my real name in front of me again." as he walked away straight to the kitchen. Reita already understood, Takanori never really got a good relationship with his parents. Kouyou though, ignored the sudden heaviness of the atmosphere and grabbed Reita towards him so he could whisper easier.

"What the fuck was the 'even if you don't pay me at all' thing for?! You're going to be so obvious, Aki! God, what'll happen if I leave you here. I thought you don't want him to know!" Kouyou whispered.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away so I said that. Kou, I missed him so much. He's changed." Reita looked longingly towards the wall separating the kitchen. "He's lost weight too." He added, thick with worry.

"He just order food after all. He'll lost appetite sometimes and he'll just keep on drinking. I tried to stop him once and he smashed the bottle on my head, see this scar?" Kouyou bent down and pointed towards the scar on his scalp which he covered with his hair afterwards. "Man, we fought for real that time, he was so angry. So you, you should change him in a good way brother. Maybe that's why you returned. " Kouyou smiled sincerely at him for the first time. Reita smiled back but Kouyou's words made him think again. Why was he here? Is it really because of Taka that he got a second chance to live again? What'll happen afterwards?. . .

A phone ringing cut Reita out of his trance. He looked at Kouyou and the brunette was cursing because he was having a hard time taking his phone out of his pocket. After a bit of shuffling Kouyou finally answered the phone with wide eyes.

"Marissa! I'm sorry I wasn't there, you entered there then?. . .Yes, I'll be there later. . .OK fine, I'll go now, wait there. . . .it was just emergency. . .I'll tell you when I get there, 'kay?. . I love you too." And he hung up. Reita stared at him like he's got mushroom growing on his head.

"What?" Kouyou frowned.

Reita, still staring at Kou in shock, asked," Who's Marissa? "

"It's my fiancé. " Kouyou smiled.

"Fiancé? How about Aoi. . . ?" Reita still asked, confused.

"How many times do we have to explain to you both that we're just friends? " Kouyou raised an eyebrow, arms crossing together. "You and Taka kept on trying to tie us together but it never worked. Anyway I need to go, my sweetie pie is looking for me." Kouyou waved, making Reita cringe at the way Kou called his fiancé. "Don't worry, you'll meet her soon."  
Kouyou then left Reita there and went to the kitchen to inform Ruki of his departure.  
~  
Reita was currently stirring the pot of miso soup with a ladle he found in the deepest part of the cabinet. He was cooking for dinner and he really had to go out to buy the ingredients. It's the very first task given to him and the very first time he realized that he doesn't have that much knowledge of cooking that a proper house helper should know. He only knew how to cook simple recipes like miso soup, yaki niku, tamagoyaki, etc. . .oh, even Ruki's favorite spaghetti. He will certainly have to learn other recipes if he wanted to stay here for long or Taka will throw him out of the house. He sighed at how silly his thoughts were getting. He brought the ladle up and put a small portion to the reserved spoon for tasting, tasting the sample he was satisfied with the outcome.

Ruki was looking at the new possible outfits that Kai sent to him for their new products when he smelled something delicious coming from outside his room. His stomach churned at the smell and remembered that he ordered the houseboy to cook for dinner and gave him money afterwards. At first he thought it was the neighbor's house where the smell is coming from but it is too strong to be from there. It smells like miso soup and he realized how hungry he was after smelling it. He went to peek at the blond in the kitchen and observed the way this new houseboy cooked. He was stirring the pot constantly with his left hand while his other hand is holding a spoonful of soup which he brought up to his mouth to have a taste, the houseboy made a contented smile after doing so. Ruki looked at the mess around the cooking area though, utensils are all out of their respective places and remnants of the ingredients used were scattered messily. What a mess, he is only cooking yet he could make such havoc, it reminds him of Akira. Ruki shook his head, why the hell was he thinking about him again?

"Ruki-san?" Reita was surprised to see Taka out of his room now, but why is he hiding behind the doorframe?

Ruki jolted when he heard his name, blushing from the way he is sitting there behind the doorframe like an idiot. Great, now Reita must have thought that he is crazy or something. But instead, Reita just smiled and said "Great timing, Ruki-san. The dinner is already cooked, please sit here and wait while I prepare the food."

Reita did not see how Ruki's eyes grew wide with the reaction he got because he was busy getting plates and bowls. But Ruki just stood up from where he was hiding (why was he hiding anyway?) and went to sit at the table, which was a bit uncomfortable for him because he is already used to eating at the sofa in his living room and alone. It had been a long time since he sat to on this table.

"Um, Reita, can you move my plate to the living room? I wanna watch while eating." Ruki looked at the table as if the table insulted him then stood up, ready to walk out of the kitchen.

"Sure, but can I eat there with you?" Reita said as he put the bowl of misu soup aside to get rice from the rice cooker.

"Whatever." Ruki answered without looking back. He went to sit on the sofa and turned on the TV with the remote. He tossed the remote rather carelessly on top of the small table and it nearly fell but a hand stopped it. Ruki looked up to see Reita putting the food down calmly. He huffed and grabbed a plate full of rice and a bowl of miso soup when he noticed that there's a plate of still sizzling yaki niku. His face shined in glee and took one piece to taste. When did this guy cooked it anyway?

"That's hot, be careful." Reita warned, laughing.

"Don't care." Ruki chewed fastly and took another. He felt someone's eyes on him so Ruki looked beside him. Reita was staring at him curiously, he groaned, he should just explain.

"It's a long time since I ate something like this so I am just taking the chance."

"Eh? But Kouyou said you are ordering food when you don't cook."

"I don't cook. My manager, because I'm modeling for clothes, told me to eat something healthy so I didn't. . ."

Reita laughed. "But meat is also important to our body!"

Ruki blushed, well, Reita wasn't wrong either. "Shu-shut up and just eat!"

~

Reita kept on tossing and twisting on his bed. His body is tired but his mind won't let him rest. He kept thinking about Ruki who refused to be called with his real name and the cold attitude he kept receiving unlike the old Taka who would always be smiling and open towards other people but now. . .Reita sighed, he can't blame Ruki for being that way when in the first place it was his own fault for being careless and even traumatizing Ruki for letting himself be squashed by a car in front of his lover. He still remembered the way Ruki looked before his life rushed out of him.

He stood up and went out from his room only to stand in front of Ruki's bedroom door. He silently entered, surprised that it is not locked which is very dangerous if Ruki is alone. It was dark but he could still see Ruki's face peacefully sleeping (thanks to the street light outside), it was now clear of make up and Reita smiled because see, that is Taka who is always in front of him, complaining about his small eyes and sunspots.

Reita leaned down and kissed Ruki's forehead lightly so as to not wake him up. Reita straightened up in time to see fresh tears roll down Ruki's closed eyes but Ruki's expression did not change, his face was still as peaceful. Was he dreaming again? Reita was sure of it.


	5. PA and pink aprons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating this! It's a bit short but I hope you like it! ❤

"I'm so s-sorry for the trouble Ruki-san. I really didn't plan on leaving so early but my mother really needs me." His PA cried, her hair sticking around her face because of tears and sweat.

"So you are suddenly announcing on quitting without having someone else take the job you are going to leave behind?" Ruki shot his assistant with a disapproving look, said assistant ducked her head and sobbed even more.

"S-sorry Ruki-san, I really don't m-mean to but my relatives called last night saying that my mom's health is cri-critical and she needs me by her side!"She wailed, her eyeliners mashed up below her eyes creating an even more sorrowful look on her face.

"Okay, I'll just find a substitute myself so stop crying." Ruki calmly said, only a single twitch of the eye.

"Th-Thank you, Ruki-san! I-I don't think I could stop my tears-"

"I mean now, stop crying now. It might be hard on you that your mother is dying but it's not for me so please, you're so noisy it's really annoying." Ruki took a deep breath to stop himself from screaming. His former PA looked at him with wide eyes and creased eyebrows.

"Oni da." She whispered but Ruki heard it clear.

Ruki smiled, "I am."

~

"Are you sure? You're the longest PA that Ruki had and finding another one is a tough job considering Ruki's. . .temper. Can't you just take a quick break and return back if your mother gets stable?" Kai bit his lip, holding the resignation letter tightly.

The woman sobbed, "I'm sorry Uke-san but I don't plan on returning anymore even if my mother gets well. I'm sure you understand but I really can't bear his attitude any longer, that guy is a monster!" she shouted with confidence, not caring if the monster might possibly hear her through stone walls of Kai's office. "He can't even say a proper retort, always saying the meanest things to me. He must not care even if I'd get run over by a car on a street while I take care of his demands!"

Kai winced upon hearing that.

"I'm sure you don't mean that." Kai whispered, grabbing a pocket-sized envelope upon opening his drawer. "Here's your last payment in cash, I hope it'll help your mother." Kai smiled sadly.

"Thank you." The woman bowed, accepting the envelope and opened it to count the amount. Her eyes widened in confusion and looked at Kai with a very happy and grateful smile. "Oh my God, Uke-san, this is far more than the money I'm expected to have! Thank you very much Uke-san!"

"Don't thank me, it's Ruki's request after all." Kai stood up and turned to look at the setting sun that's creating an orange horizon pooling at the edge connecting the sky with the different edifices of the city. Kai took a relaxing breath at the sight.

"Wh-what do you mean, Uke-san?" the woman stared at him in disbelief. "No way will that guy do that to me. Please don't sugarcoat his true color just so I would change my view of his true nature."

Kai frowned, his face that glowed with orange deepened his expression. "I am not sugarcoating anything. You were with Ruki longer than the previous PAs had until now yet you haven't seen through his barrier at all? I don't have to change your way of thinking, and I don't blame you either, but I want you to know that Ruki really was the one who requested it whether you believe it or not. Maybe it's just how he shows his gratitude for you bearing with him all this months and also to show his support for your mother's health. " Kai looked behind him and saw hesitance on the woman's eyes. He wanted to correct her more. "I also want to tell you that he will be ready to sacrifice himself instead of you getting run over by a car."

That made the woman glare at Kai. "No way at all! Uke-san, how can you say that?!"

Kai smiled a bitter smile that could make people cry just because of it. "Why _no way_? He'd witnessed his own childhood friend, and at the same time, his dearest lover who got run over by a car in front of him. I'm sure he'd rather be the one to be hit by a car this time than another bloody corpse in his arms again."

Her face bore shock, and then turned to realization, until it showed sympathy and regret. Kai is really getting good at reading people, after being close with Ruki he learned how to read expressions of people like they were all open books and it really is useful.

The woman left quietly, bowing respectfully with an apology to Kai and walked out of the room. Kai sat down, void of emotion on his face.

~

"Me?" Reita stopped what he was doing, which was wiping the window. Ruki got distracted for a bit at the pink apron that the househelper wore, it wasn't just pink either, it was fucking frilly pink. _Who the hell. . ._

"Y-Yeah, well, it was sudden so I didn't see it coming either but I thought you are the only one capable since you easily adopted how things work here this past few weeks." Quickly too, Ruki saw it unbelievable how Reita knew where things were without asking for assistance and Ruki had the feeling that Reita also knew what things does Ruki hate and want. Like that one time when Reita cooked Ruki's favorite food just the way he liked it, which was kind of odd.

"But, how about the housework?" Reita's voice cut Ruki off of his staring contest with the frilly pink of an apron, the apron won.

"You can do it in the free days if that's. . .not so much pressure to you. Well, of course the agency will pay you but I understand if you don't want to, I was just looking for a possibility if-"

"I would love too." Reita smiled at him, dropping the sprayglass and cleaning cloth down and cracking noises sounded from his body when he stretched in front of Ruki that made him look away.

"Then you're gonna come with me tomorrow. And enough with that window cleaning, I'm hungry." Ruki almost turned away but something that was bugging him the moment he went home made him halt. It was bubbling up his throat and it bothered the hell out of him so he turned back to Reita anyway.

"Reita."

"Hmm?"

". . .Where'd you got that damning apron?"

~

Of course it was Kouyou. Who else was there to buy an apron that would make every housewives jealous. It seems like the tall brunette really plans on making Reita a maid. Ruki rubbed his palm on his face and sighed. "Next time, you inform me when someone comes here before letting them in." he said, finally finished eating. They were eating at the table now, Ruki felt like it because now there's at least one companion to eat with.

"Uh, sorry." Reita bowed his head. Ruki looked at him, it was a miracle that he wasn't snapping at Reita like what he should've been doing if it was a different person. Something about Reita refrains him from getting mad and it feels so strange, maybe because of his gentleness? But everyone had been gentle to Ruki, though he kept pushing them to their patience' limits obviously, and it's actually more of fear than gentleness that radiated from them. But Reita feels so different, like he doesn't even care at all if Ruki snap at him, call him names, heck even if Ruki beats him to a pulp. That's why Ruki doesn't bother to shout at Reita for it won't work at all. Aside from Reita's incredible patience and tolerance against Ruki's attitude, Ruki feels like there's something off about him, feeling somewhat like something big is laid in front of him but he couldn't quite put his face over it.

His train of thought got cut when Reita pulled him up from his sit, like a child, and made him stand. He almost snapped at Reita again, he couldn't help it, but now he knew why Reita grabbed him out of it. The water he was drinking was spilled and it almost soaked him but thanks to Reita that it was the chair that got wet. When did Reita stood up and went behind him anyway? Well, he didn't even notice how the glass of water got knocked down, that's why he hates tables.

"You were spacing out." Reita's deep, husky voice was so close to Ruki's ear and he bit his lower lip, why did Reita have to speak with a very nice voice

Ruki frowned,"It seems that I was." he answered, putting more space between Reita and him. The taller blond noticed how Ruki was uncomfortable when Reita got close to him so he slowly backed away to find some dry cloth and rag to clean the mess up. He still can't get too close with Ruki, it makes the smaller blond uncomfortable. Reita just wished that he could at least have a step closer to Ruki with the job he accepted as Ruki's new PA.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When interrogation happens with Kai.

Kai almost gawked like an idiot when Ruki informed him that the guy standing behind the model is going to be his new personal assistant. Just yesterday, Kai was fretting over where to find a new PA for Ruki or if he himself will be the PA besides manager, which was just impossible and will be fucking awkward. A manager while assisting personal needs? Nah. But then, here comes Ruki, whom he never expected to do the job of finding, already presenting one in front of him.

"His name is Reita." Ruki told him.

Kai took in the guy's looks as if weighing him that it made Reita flush for a bit. Reita bowed and introduced himself properly but Kai was still giving him that look.

"Do you have any biodata or resume. . .or anything. . . Reita-san?" Of course it's not that easy to just take someone in to be Ruki's PA.

"He doesn't have anything like that."Ruki spoke immediately.

"Not even an I.D.?" Kai's face contorted for a bit.

"Nothing." Ruki, again, answered without giving Reita a chance to do it himself. It almost looked like the guy needed a PA more than Ruki if he couldn't even speak for himself. A first impression of Reita it is, and it's not a good start.

Kai got irritated because Ruki keeps on talking for the guy. Is he mute? "Ahem, err Reita-san, what's your surname then? It's not just Reita is it?" Kai saw Ruki turn to face Reita without any retorts back to his question, seems like Ruki himself was curious. So Ruki only knows this guy as 'Reita' and that's all? Who would apply for a job carrying nothing but given name with him? 'This is crazy.' Kai thought.

"Uh, um. . ." Reita fiddled nervously with his head bowed. "I'm-"

Then suddenly the door swung open revealing Uruha wearing a very happy face and carrying piles of papers with him. 

"Here! I've got them!" he shouted, raising the said papers. Giving the copies to the manager, he flashed Reita a grin and showed him a thumbs up. Reita frowned in suspicion, so did Ruki. They looked suspiciously like faked documents. Where in the names of hell did that oaf got those? Maybe he asked his sister for help or something but the problem is that it was the surname he put there. Diplomas, certificates, biodatas and even a very true-looking driver's license with Reita's face on it. So that was the 'let's go to the printing shop and take some of your photos, and no need to pay, because it's my imoutou's friend's shop!' incident. It must be a to-fake-an-identity shop then.

"Isuzu, Reita." Kai muttered. Ruki raised a brow and Reita grimaced while Uruha felt proud of himself. "Uh, it's legit, Uruha? Because that. . .sounded so fake." Kai looked at him with a blank face. Of course Kai's got sharp eyes and he won't be fooled by anyone.

"Aww, come on, Yutaka-chan~! Don't offend him and his name. He's a very good person! See, those are what you need, right? So I made- I mean, I . . .took it for you!" Uruha blew his cheeks to appear, well, cute. 

Kai knew then that it was fake. "No." Kai answered firmly. "And don't call me Yutaka, with -chan, like we're close." 

"Ja Uke-chan, you must like it to be called uke?" Uruha snickered.

"Now who's offending someone elses name? And Kai is fine, thank you." Kai's left eye twitched. "And still, no. He doesn't have any proper and LEGALLY TRANSACTIONED papers so no, we can't take him." Kai eyed the taller blond warily.

Ruki stepped into the conversation with his arms crossed. He also wouldn't agree if this guy beside him right now was a sorry ass who wouldn't have anything to prove his identity but he's been living with Ruki for the past few weeks now and it's a proof enough to trust and rely on Reita. (even if he didn't get to catch at least only Reita's family name, because he really wasn't interested in knowing it as long as the house helper did the job during that said past few weeks)

Besides, Kai "You really don't have a choice but to accept him because we'll be shooting next week and we both know that we'll need a PA or it will not be finished in time if we don't have someone to help us in preparing. Also, I am the one who recommended him because I know his capabilities. Do you question my ability to pick one?" Ruki narrowed his eyes at Kai. Uruha and Reita just standing with their eyes wide at Ruki's challenging tone.

Kai was visibly shocked. He never once experienced to have Ruki demand for anything, and everytime, Ruki will just agree on Kai's decisions. Kai then snorted, making Ruki's challenging eyes change to one of annoyance. "OK, fine. Just don't keep on doing that it really will shit someone else's pants if you ever look at them like that." Kai was giggling like a kid. "It had been so long since you got irked by me, and it's all because of this new PA? So new." Kai took a deep breath, exhaling with a smile on his lips. "But. . .give us time and space to talk alone."

Reita gulped, feeling nervous. What would they do once they're alone he wondered. Uruha sighed and Ruki just nodded and went out. He looked at Kai and now he knew that he should be REALLY nervous. Kai was smirking at him devilishly.

"Well?" Kai raised a fine brow when the taller didn't move from his position.

"Fine." Uruha grumbled, glancing at Reita worriedly. When the door finally closed, Kai motioned for the blond to sit down at the couch while he grabbed a chair and sat in front of Reita.

"Reita, what's with you?" Kai looked at him intensely.

"Huh? W-what do you mean, Kai-san?" Reita stuttered, eyes unsteadily looking at Ruki's manager. It seemed that Kai gives that intimidating kind of aura and the brilliant smile he gives is reserved to only those who is close to him. Also, he does seem too close to Ruki. How long was Akira gone again? He doesn't like how close Kai is getting with his lover.

"Reita?"

"U-uh yeah, um, Kouyou recommended me to be Ruki-san's house helper and Ruki-san decided to make me his PA." Reita answered, no longer intimidated by Kai after he felt a pang of jealousy towards the guy.

Kai's frown lessened and hummed in understanding. "Hmm, so Ruki took you in without proper papers? And also, I know that these things Kouyou gave me are fake because he's just that kind of guy. So, what kind of human existing are you if you don't have atleast even a single valid proof that your identity is legit?" As straightforward and as insulting that was for the blond, Kai needed a valid reason because Ruki did almost got killed so many times because of his attitude and this Reita guy is no exception for suspicion. Kouyou might have been the one to recommend him but Kai is always protective when it comes to Ruki. Also, maybe he's curious about why Ruki accepted Reita in so easily unlike him who made it so hard to worm his way to get Ruki's trust.

"M-my. . .I mean. . .it's because. . ."

"You're hesitant, Reita." Kai's eyes glinted with a bit of ire.

"No! I can't explain it but I don't have any malicious intent on him, I swear!" Reita stated with desperation. "If ever, it's actually the contrary." He whispered when he looked away.

Kai heard that clear, knowing full well how transparent this guy is to him now. Kai then knew what to do. To test this guy for who he is.

"You know that words without any proofs are useless, Reita. Just saying that in front of me isn't gonna prove anything." Still, with that accusing tone of his, as if Reita already hurt Ruki or something. Reita's teeth gritted in frustration and his hands clasped on the armrest tightened its hold until his knuckles had gone white. The smirk on Kai's face doesn't help either. Fuck! Is this guy just playing with him?! Reita held himself back. He knew that bashing this guy's face on the desk is the last thing he should do if he wanted to be at Ruki's side.

"Then. . .Then at least let me prove it to you! What do I have to do to prove it to you!" Reita shouted. Abruptly standing up from where he is seated.

Ruki went in after he heard Reita shout. "What's going on here? What the heck are you telling him, Kai?!" He barked in alarm.

Kai's hand signaled for Ruki to stop which the smaller one did so. He smiled, unlike his previous smile though, his smile towards Reita is the one that looks like of the devil. "Then, prove it to me by doing one thing. "

"What is it?" Reita gritted.

Kai's lips moved in an ushered voice. Reita and Ruki's eyes widened and their brows creased upon hearing Kai's deal. . .

~

"What the hell was with him?" Reita muttered to himself as he kept thinking about what Kai had said. 

'Don't you ever make him cry. If you do, then don't ever expect anything but misery in the future. '

"Don't mind him, he's just a weird guy. Ever since." Ruki said. They were now in a mall, Ruki insisting that they should just get out of the office and do some shopping after the incident. "But I really can't believe he'd say something so embarrassing like that. It's not like I'll cry over trivial things, I'm not a kid anymore." He grunted.

"It's not like I'll make you cry anyway." Reita followed.

Ruki snorted. "Why would I cry over _you_ anyway?" walking past Reita after saying so. Heading towards a black long sleeved shirt with a skull print that he saw, he didn't notice how Reita reacted.

Reita stopped in his tracks, mildly offended by the statement. "Maybe he means that I might accidentally burn your closet and in turn that'll make you cry." Reita grinned in triumph. He knew how his lover treasured his clothes so much. Ruki also stopped in his tracks and gasped "Don't you dare!" He walked back and lightly punched Reita in the arm but giggled nonetheless. Reita laughed back, proud of himself for successfully making the younger blood lighten up a bit.

Ruki though, stopped giggling and listened to that laugh. For some reason it sounded so familiar and nostalgic. Oh, he knew that kind of laugh. The laugh that'll make you happy for no reason. Then, suddenly, Akira's face flashed in Ruki's mind.

"Aki." He whispered as he stared at Reita somewhat stunned. Reita stopped laughing upon hearing his nickname leave Ruki's lips.

Despite his chest constricting so much it hurts, Reita managed to feign innocence. "W-who. . .who's Aki?" He asked back. Reita's face twisted with unreadable emotions swimming in his eyes. Could it possibly be. . .that Ruki noticed him? Reita's heart couldn't stop from beating rapidly. Ruki can't know. . .not now. Not when he's trying his damnest to move on from that terrible memory. Reita is afraid to blow it up this time, images of Takanori leaving him because of anger, fright, and disbelief. Of course Reita wanted to be recognized but judging from the way they parted years ago, he doesn't think it's still necessary and he might scare Taka with the truth.

Reita wanted to beat himself when Ruki's face changed to its usual stoic and impassive expression. "Oh, nothing. Just remembered someone." Ruki answered, walking with no direction in particular. Reita had the feeling that something he built so hard just crushed in front of him.

"You can go home first. Or would you like to drink with me?" Ruki turned back to look at him.

"You'll . . .drink?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, I know, sorry!

This isn't a good idea.

Not at all.

He witnessed how sick Ruki has gotten when he and Uruha went to see him and that incident was so scary because he knew that no matter how rebellious Taka had been when they were still in highschool, he never had been with alcoholic drinks. It broke his heart when he saw Ruki lying limp and sick that time, it was worse than dying to be honest.

And Ruki is now drinking like a fish. Reita insisted to tag along in the club after the photo shoots of Ruki to control Ruki's alcohol intake but he felt like he didn't have any use at all. Nope, not when Ruki drank more than enough to make anyone pass out cold. Reita tried to stop him but Ruki snarled at him like a dog. How the fuck did Ruki learn to drink a lot? Yes, this must be Reita's fault and it is successfully making him feel so bad of himself.

Then Ruki now grabbed his hand. "Reeeei~ juzz lemme tell you a story." Ruki slurred, leaning towards Reita more so that the blond could hear him better. "I had a boyfriend, his name is *hiccups* is Akira." Reita looked away and gulped but Ruki grabbed his chin and made him face the latter again. "You know, he was the most simple, loving, and caring sex-pistol addict boyfriend ever. *hiccups* But then, this!" Ruki emphasized it by widening his arms in a drunken manner. "This goddamned world took him away from me. He's all that I've got but he was taken away. Then, *hiccups* you came. You know when-" 

Ruki kept getting closer so Reita gently held him by the shoulder. "Ruki, you're too drunk already."  
Ruki slapped his hand away "No, no. I-I'm not? Lemme continue, Rei*hiccups* Reita, you came and Akira told me in my sleep that he's found me. After that, he didn't show up anymore. And I swear for a second I thought you were him. You looked lik-" Ruki's balance wavered and he fell forward, unintentionally crashing his lips on Reita's. For a moment, Reita's world stopped. His eyes slowly widened and his breath got caught up in his throat, his stomach doing flip flops while his brain was still loading. He didn't move and Ruki retreated back slightly enough to look at Reita's face confusedly. The older blond labeled that as an accident but he didn't expect it twice when Ruki leaned in and kissed him again. 

Reita groaned when Ruki's slick tongue slipped into his mouth, wetting his dry lips. Reita didn't care if they were in the open and some people were already staring at them. He wanted this. Gods he wanted this for too long and Ruki is willingly giving it to him now. Even if Ruki is drunk while kissing him, he really can't complain. It had been a painfully long wait. Ruki tasted of liquor and mint, liquor made Ruki taste almost foreign but Reita still loved the taste nonetheless. He buried his fingers on the soft tresses of Ruki's head, successfully deepening the kiss. 

Ruki retreated though, again, and downed the glass of liquor in his hand as if the kiss never happened at all, making Reita clench his shirt in hurt. Seriously, Reita longed to kiss him again, but he knew he was asking too much. Then Ruki stood up, wobbling while patting his pocket for something. Reita stood up too, watching Ruki pull out some keys and swayed like jelly. Reita sighed and grabbed Ruki's arm to support him, taking the car keys from him. Ruki didn't resist, instead he leaned closer for Reita to support him more. They walked out of the club and went to the parking lot. Upon settling Ruki comfortably on the driver's side, Reita started the car engine. He looked back at the blond who was fast asleep and smiled. . .yet, something inside him hurts like it's burning.

~~~

"I. . .can't remember anything last night." Reita scratched his head sheepishly. 

"Are you sure?" Ruki asked, "I swear something big just happened but I really can't remember it either. " He frowned at Reita, thinking about the foggy events last night. The clubbing, the lights, and. . . someone. But he can't remember who and why and it was nagging his mind.

Reita wanted to tell him what it was, he really wanted to, but instead he said, "I don't remember anything important that happened last night though, I was pretty wasted too." He lied, concentrating instead on making them some breakfast.

Ruki hummed but immediately frowned again. "If you got wasted as I am, then who drove the car?"

Oops. "Aaah um, I guess I'm proven to be good at driving despite being drunk now? " he forced a laugh, placing the cooked egg on one plate and cracking another one on the pan.

Ruki clutched the cold glass of water in his hands as he glared at the older blond. "But you were _wasted_." he swore this guy can't be trusted sometimes. And isn't good at lying too. 

Reita just shrugged and handed him breakfast, not wanting to continue the conversation and left Ruki's statement hung in the air. Ruki huffed, grabbing his plate rather harshly. "Fine, don't tell me for all I care." He hissed when in fact he's burning with curiosity.

Reita smiled in triumph, settling on his own sit. "It was not that important, promise." He took a bite of his own food, waiting for another sharp retort. Thankfully there was none so they continued to eat without much conversation. Ruki sipped at his tea after finishing up his plate, trying to ignore the slight throbbing of his head. At least it didn't hurt like it's going to split, thanks to Reita for making him eat before entering the club last night. Somehow, this guy really is a lot useful to him much than other PAs he previously had.

"I'm going somewhere." Ruki announced, making Reita look up at him.

"Where?"

Ruki didn't answer that Reita already thought he didn't hear the question.

"Can I accompany you there?" He asked, hope clear in his voice.

Perhaps there's no reason to have the man get cooped up here like a prisoner, but Ruki still contemplated on bringing a stranger on that place that's too personal. Finally, he made up his rational choice.

". . .sure."


	8. Chapter 8

They drove at the place Ruki wanted to go. Ruki driving it because Reita still didn't know where they were heading. Until they passed on a grassy spot full of bushes where Reita remembered was the place he woke up alive and kicking. . .and butt naked. His eyes widened and now he's really curious as fuck at where they're headed. Not a few more yards and they stopped by a front gate of . . . a cemetary?

Ruki parked the car, getting out of it after grabbing an incense sticks out from the front compartment and started walking into the front gate, expecting Reita to follow without him telling the older blond to do so. And Reita did just that, following Ruki silently as his stomach felt heavy with something that didn't feel good, he guessed he knew where they are heading to. They walked further more, passing each stone sepulchres quietly. Reita walked behind Ruki with his head hung low, not liking to see it but still wanted to stay beside Ruki.

Ruki finally stopped in front of a grave, kneeling down to light up some incense sticks before putting them in the small jars on each side of the tomb to make it stand.

Reita stayed standing beside the small blond hunched over _his_ grave, cleaning stray weeds and leaves there. Gazing at the kanji of his name carved on that stone made him gulp, still can't believe he'd have the chance to get to see his own real grave, because those chances are obviously rare. Ruki stood up and went for the bench near the grave, Reita gazed at it for a bit more before following the model and sat down on the bench too. Ruki sighed and lighted up a cigarette, surprised that Reita did not ask him who that person was in that grave he visited and thankful for it. He offered one to Reita and the spiky head took the cancer stick thankfully, lighting it on Ruki's zippo.

"I'm surprised you don't ask so many questions about us in this place. You wouldn't even ask who's in that grave."Ruki said, trying to make a conversation after a very weird silence that enveloped them while smoking.

Well, awkward, here it comes. "W-well then, can I ask who that person is, was to you?" Reita bit himself at his own question, feeling more awkward than ever. But it's alright, he's the only one feeling it anyway, Ruki doesn't have any reason to feel awkward after all.

Ruki laughed a bit, shaking his head. "Oh so now you asked." Tossing the crushed cigarette away, he began to light up one again. Perhaps he could trust this person not to gossip what he's about to tell. "He was my childhood friend starting Elementary school. Then he became my lover at highschool, the longest lover I've ever been with. Eight years and it should have continued until. . . But anyway, I've never really been interested in other guys that tried to change his place. Maybe because it's not him and that is the end of it." He shrugged, kind of painful for bringing up the topic but also somewhat kind of soothing to talk it out on someone else. But when he looked at the older blond though, he raised one perfectly shaped brow. "What the fuck are you smiling there like an idiot for?"

Reita looked up, seeming to realize that his mouth twisted upwards unconsciously, Ruki still loved him, or his old self Akira. But the sad thing is, what if he didn't return at all? Would Ruki not move on on him forever? Even if seeing Ruki in someone else's arms was painful, Reita would rather wish it than watching Ruki living all alone in his life. He smiled broader. "Nothing, it's just that you're very loyal to him."

"You're weird, you know that?" Ruki shook his head. That wasn't the response he was expecting. More along the lines of 'hey, that's stupid, he's dead so move on, dude' or something like 'are you saying you'll be single forever? That's crazy!' kinds of lines.

Reita chuckled,"I guess you're right, I may be weird. But you are, too." 

"And why is that?" Ruki gazed at the sky lazily, waiting for an answer for his question.

"You forgot to put flowers on his grave." Reita said, glancing at some graves with bunch of flowers here and there, some are fresh and others wilting. 

Now it was Ruki's turn to chuckle. "I didn't forget to. He was allergic to it so I never brought flowers there. " Reita blushed but thankfully the cloth across his face covered it.

"I-is that so?"

"Mhmm." Ruki stood up, patting his ass for any dirt that clung on his expensive jeans. "I'm starving, let's eat somewhere." He muttered.

~~~~~

People were whispering, Reita can't help but hear them. Ruki didn't seem to care, walking with confidence and a pokerface around the area. They have a new work, a cooperation wherein other models and staffs are working along with them, and those people are whispering it pisses Reita off.

"Isn't that the model that is like a demon on his staff?"

"Why would they let us work with a guy like him? He might throw a fire at us for all I know."

"I heard that he's got a real nasty personality, you know."

"He's not even that attractive to be a model."

"Oh my, look at his height, is he really going to make it with us?"

"Ugh, I can't work with a brat like him. I heard he beats the crap out of his staff just to blow off his steam."

"Look at his assistant, poor guy, needing to stick up with his ass like that."

Reita gripped the bags he was holding tight in his hands, wanting to smash them on every assholes' face in the room and shout 'shut up' loudly. It is his lover they're talking about! Gritting his teeth, he glared at some of them while following Ruki. They finally entered a private room and Ruki grabbed a bag from his hand, setting it down on a table and Reita put them all down. Ruki removed his shades, still having a calm face even if Reita knew that Ruki could also hear those words they spouted about him. Reita bit his lip hard he could taste blood on it. "I'm seriously itching to punch two or more of them." He muttered at himself angrily. 

Ruki just raked through the bags, looking for his smokes, forgetting where he stuck them into a while ago. "Why? They were just being honest, better than playing the plastic doll in front of me and trying to be nice." Ruki said in a monotone voice.

"You're okay with it? They're insulting you! They talk as if they know about you! I hate them." Reita hissed, surprising Ruki and Kai who just entered the room.

Ruki looked at him as if he had a dick for a head, wanting to retort something like 'oh, and you know me?' in a sarcastic way but didn't have the mood for it. Instead, he stuck with his previous thought about Reita's reaction on those people outside. "What are you upset about? It's not like they were talking about you. Besides, those ideas came from our own staff so they're saying some truth on it too, don't get too worked up on it. You should be used to it by now." Ruki continued to look for his cigarette, still not revealing itself.

"Because they're wrong! You're far from a demon, you're not punching people just to blow off steam, you don't deserve to be treated like that! You're a lot better than all of them. If they could just see you're smile, it's nowhere near evil! Those assholes doesn't know the truth!" Reita can't help but shout that, it just not right when people treat Ruki like that, it makes him want to bash a head or two.

Ruki stared at him wide-eyed, his cheeks feeling hot at Reita's opinion. No one in his entire career said something like that in his face ever, well besides Kai but a manager is an exception. "W-w-what are you saying there you idiot!" He stuttered, slapping Reita's arm. "Go get me a cigarette!" He shoved bills of yens that could buy a hundreds of pack on Reita just to get the blond out and not see his blushing face. Reita took it with a frown and went out to find a store. Ruki sighed, slumping on a sit.

Kai was still shocked at the scene, knowing that his presence wasn't even noticed. "Now I take back what I said to him and I can finally say that he can be an awesome PA."

Kai's voice made Ruki jump. "Since when are you there?!"

Kai shrugged. "Since he announced his devotion to you? He is your PA for only what, a week, and he's already _that_." He's now curious how that Reita immediately knew Ruki's true nature for such a short time.

Ruki sighed, not sure about the 'devotion' word. They talked for a while, other staff entering the room to prepare. Reita still wasn't back though. 

What the heck was taking the guy so long?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there would be any typos or use of words the wrong way. You can point it out and I'll correct them.

Carrying a paper bag containing a pack of cigarette and a can of orange juice, Reita started to walk back to the shooting area when a woman whose clothes were too revealing for Reita's taste came up to him. He did also have interest in women, but he liked them more composed and modest, unlike this girl with a slutty dress and attitude. 

The girl didn't even listen when a staff called for her, just gazing at Reita with extreme lust. "Hey there, handsome. I would like to offer you something you might want to have." Smirking, she swayed her hips for a bit, trying to show off her ass thinking that Reita would like it but it was really just the opposite. 

With a flat face, Reita looked as bored as ever despite the girl's flirting. "What is it?"

"I saw you with that amateur model just now. . ." Reita's eye twiched. ". . .and I assume that you'd want to change and be my PA instead." The girl came too close to him and whispered in his ear. "I could always show you a good time. Unlike that unattractive brat in that room." Reita's temper finally snapped and pushed her roughly, making her stumble back a few steps.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" The girl shouted at Reita, gaining everyone's attention. At that time, Reita didn't fucking care.

Reita's snarling face wasn't a joke, everyone didn't even dare to come near and when they saw the girl who shouted, they hesitated to help her even. Reita advanced a step, making her step back warily. "Listen here, bitch. First thing you should stick in that small brain of yours is that Ruki is a lot more professional than most of you here." He threw a glare at the others murmuring in the room too before continuing. "You people hear me?! Ruki is far from amateur, unlike all this gossiping people here right now. Is that being professional?" He returned his gaze back to the frozen girl in front of him. "And you, don't assume anything first hand. I don't want to be a PA of a whore like you. Besides, you are the most unattractive brat that I've seen in my life. " 

The girl huffed. "I'm the brat? You don't know who I am don't you? You even have the guts to call me a whore? I studied at the-"

An older man shorter than Reita for an inch cut the girl off and surprising Reita. "If you studied in a high standard school then don't act like a brainless brat. And I can't blame the young man here, you dressed like a whore again. You started a stupid shit again Natasha and you've wasted this man's time now. If a staff calls for you, you fucking go or I swear I'll cut your contract off." Oh, THE contractor.

The girl scoffed and shoot Reita a glare before walking off. The man took Reita's free hand and shook it. "I'm very sorry, young man. Indeed she's the amateur here. I've already met Ruki, although purely business, he is truly a professional. I'm very sorry if any of them offended you or your artist in any way."

Reita blushed in embarrassment. Did he went overboard? "I. . .I'm also sorry for shouting." He bowed. He wanted to get out of there fast. "I need to go, sir. Thank you for your understanding." He walked rather stiffly, feeling everyone's eyes on him until he arrived at the room. God, what was he doing?

Ruki was already infront of the mirror, his hair getting sprayed and teased upwards in a wavy effect, even his make up was already done. Fuck, the man was right. That slut outside really wasted his time too much.

"What took you so long?" Ruki glared at him through the mirror. 

 

"Sorry, someone talked to me outside. It took a bit later than I thought." Reita brought the bag down the table beside Ruki as the stylist did Ruki's hair.

"Oh? What did they say to you?" Ruki's voice was unusually flat and he wasn't looking at Reita anymore.

Reita sighed, remembering that annoying girl and the embarrassing scene. "She was just talking nonsense. She wanted me to be her PA. The contractor thankfully came and scolded her."

"And you refused the offer? Why didn't you agree to it?" 

Reita looked at Ruki as if he just told him to die. "What? Why should I?" Did Ruki not want him anymore?

Ruki shook his head with a smile, making the hair stylist stop at the action. "Is it finished?" Ruki referred to his hair.

"Wait, just a bit more. . .there! Finished." The stylist fixed her things and Ruki grabbed his smoke and headed out, aiming for the balcony. Weird, the other models and staffs outside were too quiet and gas avoiding eye contact with him. What the heck happened here? Reita was left confused and his mind was spurring every different ideas about what Ruki means on that statement. The hair stylist, was it Noriko? She sat beside him and massaged her tired hand. "Hey, Reita-kun. Something bothering you?"

"Noriko-san, I just. . . I don't know what Ruki meant about that. Did he not want me anymore?" Reita looked like a kicked puppy when he thought about it.

Noriko laughed like what Reita told him was a joke. "Are you serious? He must've meant something like'do you still want to be with me?' in his mind! You must be the best PA he ever had and I can attest on that."

"Really?" Reita sounded hopeful. "Of course I will still be his PA."

"I'm glad." She smiled. "You might not be aware of it but Ruki seemed more tamed and calm now when you came. You might not believe it, well I don't mean any offense here but before when you were still not here, Ruki-san was like a powder keg. He would burst at every small things and always walk with a dark aura around him. I've also experienced his wrath many times just like the others." She paused, waiting for Reita's reaction. The guy likes Ruki a lot so he might take her words negatively. Thankfully, he was just listening intently so she continued. "At first I hated him, his words were lethal after all. They hurt to the bones whenever he gets angry. But after a long while, I just felt sympathy whenever he snaps like that. It must be so hard to be angry every time. And besides, thanks to him I've managed to improve better just so he won't shoot his anger on me."

"Yeah." Reita's voice was weak, smiling for a bit at her last sentence. "Is. . .Is it true? That Ruki beats up someone?" He was hesitant to ask, afraid of what to think if it was really true.

Noriko chuckled, ildly flexing her fingers. "Oh, don't believe that. Those were just rumors that aren't true. They just exaggerate things just to make Ruki-san a perfect 'oni' (demon) and it's sad that some of our own staff were the ones spreading the word." She patted Reita's back and stood up. "I gotta prepare my things for the next session later, you should also look for Ruki and make sure you're always by his side whenever he needs something. Later again!" She waved and went off. Reita sighed, standing up as well, finding Ruki like a mother hen.

This is a long day.


	10. Chapter 10

"Tomorrow will be a meeting schedule with the designers for the shoot next week. And on Friday, another workshop for a whole day. And the next day after that, you will be featured on that -Daily Live With Celebs- something after the conference in the-" Ruki groaned, covering his ears with a pillow and closed his eyes. How come he had so many scheduled events when all he wants to do is to laze at home and sleep for a week? Why does earth hate him so much that even a rest seemed impossible. He is proud that he is one of those who are currently in great demand as a fashion and art model but this is the negative side of it.

"You go." He grumbled, burying his face on the soft sheets.

"Um. . .I can't." Reita huffed a laugh. Ruki obliviously acts childish sometimes and Reita just can't help but smile at it every time. It's like they were back at the old times. But the tight schedules also worries Reita, wondering how this small frame could take all the tiresome work and still stay beautiful. Even if Ruki handles all this with perfect aplomb, it's obvious that it's taking a toll on his health. Ruki didn't know how bad Reita wanted to complete these scheduled tasks instead just so Ruki could rest. But Reita can only support him the best that he could.

It's been four months now. . .

Yes, four months. Time flies fast like they say.

Four months and Ruki isn't snapping with an 'I will torture you that you'd wish you were a cute dog instead if you make me angry' attitude anymore. Well, he still has some episodes but not too often.

Ruki on the other hand, in his four months with Reita, figured out something about the spiky blond. It's that he is weird. Odd. Offbeat character. Maybe even alien. Just choose what. But then Reita is also proficient in Ruki's needs, accurate in choosing what Ruki would want in varieties of things. Always there when Ruki needs him. A bit creepy how Reita seems to know everything about his needs and wants, but that's why he's. . .he'sperfect. Well, perfect for a butler if Ruki would prefer to call him that, of course.

". .ki. . .Ruki."

Ruki lifted his head up from the pillow to see Reita's face smiling down at him. "You've got free schedules on Sunday till Wednesday if you won't have anything else planned there personally." Reita included. Ruki's face lighted up immediately at the news, completely sitting up on the bed. "Really? Four mighty days?!"

Reita only nodded with his own goofy grin.

Ruki jumped out of his bed and walked in the bathroom, grabbing his mouthwash and glass of water from the tap. "Hurry up and prepare, Rei!"

Reita was left with a confused face when the other blond rushed into the bathroom until the blond shouted his nickname. "What? Why?"

"Were going to buy snacks, drinks, and games. Oh, and let's rent lots of movies. I want to stay here without going out for my four days!"

Reita's brows rose up. "Okay?" Ruki usually would have announced that they're going out into clubs, shopping malls and other places rather than getting stuck at the house like a 'hikikomori' whenever he's got free time. But Reita guessed that it's a lot better anyway than walking around that'll make Ruki more tired than relaxed.

"Rei! Don't just stand there dumbly and go!" Ruki shouted when he peeked out from the bathroom door.

"Y-yes!" Reita rushed out and went on his own room to get ready.

Ruki sighed and returned in front of the sink, shaking his head with a grin. "Dork." he whispered.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Pushing a cart full of junk food and liquors, they still continued to find more interesting things to eat. Ruki slipped into more junk food section while Reita headed for the meat and veggies section. Does all these snacks just fine on Ruki anyway? Everything seems to be unhealthy. Reita would've argued if he so could. But it didn't mean he couldn't buy something healthy for their dinners. If Ruki plans on hibernating for four days then Reita could at least make it right. 

Examining a beef meat inside its styro container, Reita grabbed three and tossed it in the cart and went to the veggies. Ruki found him and slipped some odd looking snacks in the cart as well. Reita is sure as hell that Ruki will gain weight with these junk food. Reita checked out a nice looking carrot with a healthy looking orange color. Grinning, he decided to take a half kilo of it and Ruki groaned as he expected. "I don't like those."

"I know, but they're good for you." Reita waved one big piece of carrot at him, making him roll his eyes.

"Whatever. Just make sure I don't taste that in my plate."

Reita laughed. "Don't worry Ruki-sama, I'll make sure to slice them really small for you."

"Good. And stop that '-sama' with my name, it sounds annoying. " Ruki huffed, going to the fruits' section, Reita trailing behind him with a shrug, grabbing vegetables here and there on the way. Ruki continued until he stopped to examin some huge oranges in the fruits' section, it looked delicious enough from the outside.

"Hey, Rei. Can you look at this o-" Ruki turned around and got silent when the person he was talking to was a bit far from him and was looking at something else. Ruki raised one fine brow and went to check out what the guy was interested in.

"You like those?" Ruki suddenly spoke behind Reita, making the other jump and stepped aside. He turned around to look at the smaller blond who was, for some reason, holding a huge orange with his well-manicured hand. "Oh, um, I'm just looking. It has a great red color." Reita smiled and all but looked at Ruki straight.

"You can get some if you want. Don't worry about paying, I'm generous." Ruki smirked, as if he needed to remind Reita again that he doesn't need permission to buy things he wanted, specially if it's food. And Reita doesn't abuse the chances at all, not even once.

"But you don't like them. I don't like to eat those alone. " Reita once again said something that's not supposed to be and he immediately tensed.

"How come Kouyou keeps on telling you things about me that's not even that important. Why would he even come up to telling you about my strawberry trauma?" Ruki rolled his eyes and Reita just laughed awkwardly. It's been like that lately, Ruki concluding that Kouyou was the one behind all the things that Reita did for him as if he knew him. Because what else could have it been, right? It's not like people could just guess what others might want. Reita released a silent sigh of relief and watched the grumpy cat mumbling in front of him.

"I swear those best friends gossiped and made fun of me secretly when they had nothing else better to do." Ruki kept on grumbling. Reita's heart lit up a little when Ruki implicitly mentioned him as if he was still alive, which he actually was but you get the point. At the same time, Reita wanted to answer 'No, we did not.' to Ruki but prevented himself and just chuckled.

"Just get some, okay? I might try it if you'd do something good about it." Ruki sounded nonchalant about it, but Reita smiled widely that it made Ruki huff and avert his eyes from that annoying (see: attractive) smile that he received. Reita knew what to do with that strawberries alright. He'll revive Ruki's favorite dessert along with him, though this time he needs to change some tricks on it and pray that Ruki won't end up vomiting the food.

Ruki looked pleased with himself as he watched as they paid for their groceries. He'll finish everything until Sunday. And he sure as hell will make sure that no one would interrupt his four days of rest.

Because. . .

It was, after all,

 _his_ birthday.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School shits happened and I couldn't write with concentration, like seriously, they even fucking asked me to come back there six times already just for medical purposes and made a fuss about my left eye that's 'omg, it's super blurred'. And now I have to buy glasses.

On the first day of Ruki's 'four mighty days', he slept till noon and woke up with a headache. He, after all, stayed up late that night with his face stuck on his computer screen finishing up his own art despite coming home from work and tired. He spent the rest of the day sleeping again after Reita forced him to sleep more. 

And so, the next three days got spent as Ruki planned. They both spent time together at home without going out, eating snacks and playing video games that Ruki have grown to hate because he kept on losing every stage. They would sometimes talk about random things while drinking their beers and wine. They also watched movies, mostly horror and comedy, no romance. Ruki, Takanori, loved romance to the core before, but now Reita couldn't see any hints of those romantic mangas or movies. Did Ruki threw all of it? Reita himself only changed physically after dying and rising again. But Ruki changed more than just physically, like he became a whole new person. But Reita didn't want to think about it too much, he shouldn't.

With the second and third days though, Reita felt like he'd gotten closer to Ruki than before. Talking with each other like normal friends rather than being a boss and assistant helped Reita a lot. Reita did his best not to say any stupid things that might scare Ruki shitless though, just trying to make some topics that sounded casual but had a deep meaning to him.

_"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Reita asked._

_Plush lips curled into a smile. "At first I didn't, but someone told me I should believe it. So I guess I'll say I believe it."_

_That then did Reita felt like his heart will burst. Taking Ruki's words in with utter joy._

Ruki on the other hand, tried to ignore the warm feeling in his chest whenever he's with the spiky blond, which was frequent, save the time when Reita can't come with him. He felt it that past months but didn't let it get to him. But this 'let's stay home' plan had him feeling it strongly. This strange warmth that made him feel conflicted.  
.  
.  
Love? _That's impossible._  
.  
.  
Why? Because. . . _just because._  
.  
.  
Because he had Akira? _But Akira's gone now._  
.  
.  
He's just like Akira, the acts, the laugh, the person. _But he's still not Akira. Leave it be. . ._  
.  
.  
Still, he wanted a sign or something. . . _For what? For Akira's replacement?_  
.  
.  
**No, for Akira's fucking wish before his last breath.**

 

Then came the last day of Ruki's free time. It was _Akira's_ birthday. Reita and Ruki were both seated on the floor in the living room, playing card games with odd looking waffles stuck in their mouths.

"Ah!" Ruki shouted, the poor waffle falling out of his mouth and got dropped on his crossed legs. "I won! Finally, I beat you!"

Reita shook his head with a smile, laying the controller down and stretching. "Yeah, yeah. You did."

Ruki pouted, frowning up at Reita cutely. "What's with that reaction? You should be more sad and defeated. You know how many times I had to play this stupid game just to-"

The buzzing of the door immediately cut Ruki off. Reita looked at Ruki questioningly but Ruki just shrugged. The buzzing continued so the spiky blond stood up to open the door. Upon opening it, a large box and a grinning delivery guy as if it's the most amazing job ever was what Reita saw.

"Happy birthday! You see, Mr. . .er. . ." The guy shoved the box in Reita's arms and groped something in his pocket. Ruki poked his curious head from behind Reita's shoulder. "Mr. Takashima Kouyou sends his best wishes to Mr. Isuzu Reita and is deeply sorry for not being able to come." The boy who's still grinning bowed his head and showed a paper, ballpen once again shoved at Reita's hand, who held it with difficulty because of the box on his arms. "Anyways, here's where you sign. . .Thank you!" Before he went off.

Ruki stared at him wide-eyed. "It's. . .it's your birthday." he stated, stunned.

Reita looked annoyed at the cake, mostly because of the sender, laying it down the sofa beside the other sweets. He sensed Ruki's stunned silence, his brows creasing in immediate worry, but confirmed Ruki anyway. "Yeah, now that I think about it." He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

Ruki's breath stopped working at that moment.

**  
__**

**_"What's that?" Straight bleached blond hair swished, small eyes squinted at the beautifully wrapped box in front. Akira then smiled upon realizing what it was._ **

**_Ruki blushed and looked at him with large doe eyes. "That's a birthday gift, stupid Aki! Are you not aware that it's your birthday?"_ **

**_Akira laughed that shook even the cute black haired Ruki on his lap. "Well, now that I think about it, yeah." He smiled guiltily, scratching the back of his head._ **

**__  
**

Ruki did asked for a sign right? Then that moment felt like _it_. Because that shit is a hell of a coincidence. Of all the days and months for a birthday, Reita's birthday happened to be the same as Akira's. And the way they both seemed nonchalant about it, it's just the fucking same. Isn't that a sign enough? Ruki felt like he'll cry and laugh stupid at the same time.

Reita was now busy opening the cake box, hoping that Ruki would get his spirits up again after eating a piece. Whatever Ruki's thinking, Reita didn't have a clue but it made Ruki look like he'd throw a fit. Reita whispered a happy 'yes' for successfully opening the box, but soon his eyes looked like he's about to kill a certain sender, preferably a honey blond, because the box contained a beautiful cake. . . with strawberry flavor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruki made a pleasing noise as he shoveled his slice of cake with gusto, but not before stripping it from strawberry and dumping the damning fruit on Reita's plate. Reita didn't complain, enjoying to watch Ruki do it, in fact. Must be the liquor beside him that made his gaze stuck at nothing but the blond beside him. And the sweets were activating his tipsy mind even more.

"They're good for choosing vanilla instead of chocolate, I love vanilla." Ruki comments, oblivious of the stare he was getting. 

"Be careful, you'll gain weight." Reita smirked.

"Just what I need, hopefully I gain height too."

Reita laughed, knowing that's impossible. "You don't need to be tall."

"You only say that because you always bang your head on any high furnitures. " 

"Hey, wait." Reita cupped Ruki's cheek with his warm hand, making the blond stop, a cake halfway to his mouth.

"Wh-what? What is it?" Ruki stuttered, eyes wide.

Reita didn't answer, just swiping the vanilla icing from the corner of Ruki's mouth with his finger and showing it to the younger blond. Ruki exhaled, not knowing that he was holding his breath the entire time. But then Reita licked that said finger with vanilla and Ruki once again stopped breathing all the same. Must be the booze, Reita thought again.

"Wha-. . .Reita! That-that's disgusting, not sanitary." Ruki muttered, blushing madly.

Reita smiled, reaching for Ruki's head and burying his fingers on the frozen blond's tresses. "Not at all. Because, you know, I love you. " Reita swore it was the booze that's acting in his veins. 

Ruki stared back at him wide-eyed, cake totally forgotten. "Y-you're just drunk." Ruki said, looking away and glaring at the unsuspecting wall beside him.

Reita pulled Ruki on his lap with surprising strength, making the other yelp. Ruki tried to push himself away from the spiky blond but to no avail. Reita had that pained look in his face the more he hugged Ruki, he just wants to hug him forever. Ruki didn't know as he panted in panick.

Reita is scaring him, it's scaring him. But then Reita only kissed his forehead.

"I've missed you. " Reita whispered, his eyes were different, it looked awfully familiar. . .so familiar that Ruki had an unconscious tear roll down his eyes.

Until Reita loosened his arms around Ruki did Ruki do something on instinct.

SLAP!

Reita's head snapped to the side, his left cheek starting to redden. He looked up at Ruki to see the blond trying to fight confused tears on a very confused face. They stared silently with each other until Reita felt like he snapped out of a weird daze.

"I. . .I'm so sorry Ruki, I didn't-"

"Get out."

Reita gasped and stood up, Ruki scrambling to stand up fast as well. "Please, Ruki, I don't know what I was doi-" Reita tried to reach for Ruki but his hand got slapped hard.

"GET OUT!" Ruki screamed. He knew he was being rash, but Reita confused him so much, he creeped him out when he whispered that three words. Why the hell would Reita fucking miss him when they never left each other's hips since day one. And what the hell were with those eyes? It was almost. . .like. . .fuck it, his head hurts. "Just. . .just take you're things and leave. I need to be alone." Ruki went to the coffee table and took a blank check from his wallet, writing a large amount on it with shaking hands. Reita just stood there without taking anything as he watched the action with a crushed heart. They were fine just a while ago until Reita decided to fuck it up, he's blaming his stupidity for ending the world he worked so hard to rebuild, and now he scared his world away, he scared Ruki away.

Ruki was in front of Reita again, still not looking at his face. "Here, take this and your things and just. . .fuck, just please leave me alone." He said, shoving the check on Reita's hand.

Reita sighed, ripping the check in pieces and laying the pieces of papers on the sofa. Ruki didn't say anything, just standing there with clenched fists.

"I can't take anything from here, because you own them all. And I want you to know that that includes my heart, wherever I go, I mean it. Heck, from my experience, I can testify on that. So I guess, I'll leave it to you." Reita had that sad smile, not wanting to cry in front of Ruki. He walked towards the door, opening it. He gazed back at the silent blond one last time until the creaking noise of the closing door could be heard.

Reita's gone. Ruki stood there, feeling lightheaded. Things happened so fast, he acted too fast without thinking, and Reita left just as fast.

Reita.

Reita who was with him all the time. The one who was always taking care of him. Who kept on. . .loving him. The Reita that he's starting to. . .to like?

Reita.

"Reita." Ruki whispered, tear-stained eyes widened in realization. In a second, he was running out of the door, tracking the spiky head down. Because he realized that he didn't want to feel it again.

 

That he didn't want to be alone.

 

**To Be Continued**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for rambling up there, hope you enjoyed this! Though it's a very late update. Trying to get started with MHOOU ReitaxRuki smexy scene. And writer's block, too, is a huge problem.
> 
> Anyway, comments are loved!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but I promise to reveal how Reita ended up dead in the first place in the next chapters. Because this story is kind of incomplete without the explanation of Reita's sudden death. Hope you enjoy!

"Fuck." Was what Reita could only say while walking, three blocks away from Ruki's home. He'd been so stupid, what the heck was he thinking? It's not like Ruki would just accept him with open arms and a sweet smile once he says or even implies that he's Akira. If Kouyou got mad before, Ruki would surely turn batshit furious. He'd been thinking that since day one, so what the hell was he doing just a few minutes ago? He's just trying to kick himself out due to idiocy? 

"Fuck. . ."Reita muttered under his breath again as heavy droplets of water started to fall. Is Ruki's rejection not enough that even nature wants to punish him? He only wore a sleeveless shirt and baggy jeans, and Kouyou's apartment was a 30-minute walk from there. And, Reita didn't bother to bring an umbrella but he didn't want to stop and wait until the rain disappeared. It's not like he'd even manage to think of taking umbrellas after that scene. So he continued walking to Kouyou's, kicking some random pebbles along the way. Maybe if he tells Kouyou what happened, he'd get the beating he deserves. 

But then there it was again. His chest started to have that weird burning inside, just like that burning he felt at the bar when Ruki kissed him and left like it was nothing, only it started to hurt for a bit now, aside from the exhaustion that he's feeling as well. Maybe it's because he's too depressed that even his energy got drained. He clutched at his shirt and inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the slight pain. He just walked faster, hoping he'd arrive sooner.

"Fu-Ackh!" His famous curse for the day got cut when something glomped on him from behind, sending them both toppling to the ground in a heap of limbs, his face stuffed with curly blonds and the scent of familiar brand of shampoo filled his nostrils. The pain at his back was forgotten the moment he finally realized who it was. Was he dreaming? Because he certainly would not expect to have Ruki on his chest, hugging him tightly instead of barking at him.

"Wha-?"

"You idiot. . .made me run." The smaller blond said between worn-out huffs, just as soaked as Reita himself. "I haven't even ran like that since high school. "

"What are you saying? Shit, Ruki you'll catch a cold like this." Reita immediately grabbed Ruki's hoodie, covering the blond head with it. When he started to get up, Ruki pushed him back down on the cement. 

"Don't move! Just tell me something first!" Ruki sat up without removing himself on top of Reita and sniffed, clutching Reita's shirt tightly as if the guy would suddenly disappear in front him. 

Hawk eyes gazed straightly at red puffy ones. The rain pouring down at them and some people passing by became unnoticed as their world turned into just the two of them in that slight moment. Reita waited until Ruki confirms everything he wants. Reita didn't care anymore, he just wanted to be honest. At least that's the only thing he could do instead of unintentionally tormenting Ruki with clues of his past self every single damn day. Because, goddammit, it's hard not to act like yourself. Even with a different body, Reita is still Akira that's trying his best not to be himself but failing. 

"Just one thing, Reita. Do you really like me?" Despite the coldness, Ruki's baby cheeks still managed to tint a pink hue as he uttered his question. 

"N-no." Ruki's grip on Reita's clothes immediately loosened at the taller blond's answer, as if his body just turned into ash. He was already readying himself to stand up and walk away filled with shame and regret but Reita grabbed him, sending his face back on that firm chest that he often thought looked comfortable to lean on and his eyes that's starting to well up with tears again widened as Reita hugged him. "No, I don't just like you, Ruki. I love you. God, I freaking love you so much that I'll do 'anything' just to make you happy. "

Ruki couldn't take it anymore, smashing his lips on Reita's. He didn't even notice when the rain stopped pouring, the sky showing specks of light as the dark clouds slowly vanished. He thought it was impossible to love again. If someone asked his past self if he could love again, he would laugh and take it as a joke. But now it's happening. Is it because the guy seemed like his late boyfriend? Maybe, maybe not. He didn't know, he didn't want to think about it too much. The only thing he's thinking about right now is that he fell for this guy, who readily and strangely almost devotionally accepted who he is right now down to his worst self. 

_'Is it okay, Akira? Can I move on from that pain?'_

No answer came, but he felt it. He felt a big weight fall off from his shoulders and heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are loved! Thank you for reading it 


End file.
